It´s Me Again

Hi friends and family! I know it has been awhile since my last update. I wanted to post last week, but I ended up sick in bed mid-week and was at the house without Internet until I finally made it back to the office today. No worries, though, my health is back to normal now. The problem: it turns out that I had parasites...uggghh!

Ok, here´s the truth, I´m struggling right now, feeling rather lonely and frustrated...basically feeling sorry for myself. I have spent most of the last 5 days in the house reading, only going out a few times. Sure I like to read, and it has been wonderful digging into Scripture and spending time in reflection, but it´s also really important for me to spend time with people and to get out and be active. The office is on vacation this week, though, so it looks like I´m going to have to adjust to spending a lot of time at the house. BUT, that´s enough of my sob story. Let me tell you the amazing ways the Lord is working through this struggle...

Yesterday when I was at my worst, feeling lonely and neglected, I cried out to God with my honest frustration, laying it bare before Him. Not surprisingly, He answered and provided above and beyond. Just a few minutes later, one of my co-workers came to work at the office for a bit, and she had some work for me to do! Then in the evening, my ¨family¨ invited me to go with them and some cousins to the movies in Managua. Yet the best part about yesterday isn´t that I got to go out and enjoy myself, it´s the reflection and deepened relationship with the Lord that resulted from the situation. First of all, I am reminded that even though God knows how we are feeling, when we honestly lay those feelings out before Him it results in a more intimate relationship with Him. Second of all, the Lord brought to mind a number of very lonely and left out people I have crossed paths with in life. Instead of feeling sorry for myself, I can pray for these people. Furthermore, the Lord has given me the challenge to do all I can to make sure that those around me feel included and loved and needed.

An update on work...well, I´m at a point of transition right now. Like I said, the office is on vacation this week, so there are no activities. But I think next week I will probably be moving to the rural community of Buena Vista to teach English at the school for the remainder of my time here. If that´s the case, this could be my last update until I get home. I don´t know. Another truth brought to mind...it´s all in the Lord´s hands. It´s easy to miss when I´m back home with my "busy" schedule and planned activities, but in reality there is no such thing as me having control--even in familiarity. Every moment is lived by the grace of God. Only He knows the future. So no need to fret.

Before listing my prayer requests, I would like to share with you a short reflection that the Lord has been pressing into my heart and mind. It is my prayer for you and for myself as well:

"It is my eager expectation and hope that I will not be at all ashamed, but that with full courage now as always Christ will be honored in my body, whether by life or by death. For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain." Philippians 1:20-21

"If Christ is not made much of in our lives, they are wasted. We exist to make him appear in the world as what he really is--magnificent. If our life and death do not show the worth and wonder of Jesus, they are wasted." John Piper, Don´t Waste Your Life, p64

Prayer Requests
-upcoming transition, possibly moving to Buena Vista and teaching English
-relationships here, it has been especially difficult with my host family
-continued work of the ministry
-my SOS teammates around the world

Much, much, much love
Sara